We don’t know anyone who has managed to escape the grasps of trauma in their lives. As you mature through life, you begin to work on your emotional growth and self-awareness, and having a bonafide support system at the tips of your fingers can help you navigate your way through these sometimes-brisk waters. Support systems can improve your overall mental health (and lifespan!), build your confidence level, help you become more self-aware, decrease stress and anxiety, and hopefully help to prevent tragedies, such as suicide. Having these allies can be a game-changer while battling common feelings such as loneliness and loss of hope.
Who Gets the VIP Invite?
It may be an obvious start, but we suggest adding your therapist to your support system. They know most of your background and have a little bit of insight into the skeletons in your closet, so this can be helpful if you’re having a particularly rough go (a la panic attack) at any moment. Of course, if you’re at work, you’ll want to find your work bestie, the one who will cover for you and advocate on behalf of you to leadership when you need mental health support during working hours. After 5pm, you can count on your old school bestie who has been there for you since the beginning of time (okay, maybe since grade school) who knows your nuances and will be completely honest with you. If you’re lucky enough to count on your family for non-judgmental support, nourish those relationships and continue to share your boundaries so no one accidentally steps over the line (even with good intentions).
Let’s not forget your furry friends who can snuggle away trauma-filled sessions with zero judgment. Your spiritual or religious mentors may offer you a divine level of care that others can’t easily offer, so consider them for filling the support system position, even if it’s just for the extra prayers. Why not ask your neighbors over for a drink or Netflix binge so that you have people in close proximity in case you need a little bit of backup support? Schedule an appointment with your hair stylist to get a new ‘do while dishing the tea on your latest endeavors. Don’t they always have the best advice anyway?
At the end of the day, it’s about finding people who respect your boundaries, cheer for you, are honest with you, and “speak” your friendship love language by lifting you up during good and bad times. Find those people and you’ll be golden.
Who Does Not Pass the Vibe Check?
When you’re building your badass support system, stray far away from these characters that will bring you down faster than you can say, “Am I the drama?”
The Emotional Drainers aka Energy Vampires – Is that person’s skin sparkling in the sunlight? No, not likely. That’s just your positive energy being zapped away by an energy vampire. Much like Edward and the rest of the Twilight gang, energy vampires “feed” on your energy, often bringing you down into a further depression. It’s your Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy, one-upper “friend” that leaves you feeling less-than after every meeting.
Toxic “Friends” – To be fair, Britney warned us about the people who don’t actually have your best interests at heart. These toxic “friends” (or even family members) can pose as loving, caring individuals, but don’t let your vulnerability fool you into their trap. Toxic people celebrate the demise of others, lie to others and to you, don’t generally listen to what you’re feeling, and make fun of you even when you’re feeling your lowest.
Sobriety Stealers – This is particularly true if you are struggling with a medical addiction to anything. You need people who encourage you to reach your goals, and if sobriety is one of those goals, you don’t need a “friend” naysaying your sobriety and encouraging you to have “just one more.”
Start Building Your Support System
Go to Events – We knooooow if you’re already feeling down, the last thing you want to do is get up, get dressed, and get out there, but – trust us – if you want to build your emotional support network, you’ll need to tie up those laces and go to events like our monthly Trendy Thursday mixer. A community of hustlers and lovers of a modern living lifestyle that will have you easily starting new conversations and making great connections.
Find Online Support Groups – If you’re not ready to be a social butterfly, find an online support group to join where you can ask for advice, pitch ideas, and get support from people. Introduce yourself digitally and watch your growth. You can even reach out to nonprofits to find out how to remotely support the group by offering digital services or skills you may have. Even though you’re remote, you’ll get the chance to work with others and collaborate on important projects.
Ask About Professional Networking – If you hold a corporate job, whether remote or in-person, try asking your HR department about professional development training sessions you can attend, or find out what local chambers you can join to grow professionally while making new connections to your social group. You’ll soon meet other colleagues that likely face the same hardships in similar industries, and soon enough, you’ll be bonding at the water cooler.
Keep Glowing Those Positive Vibes – If you are an ever-growing advocate for mental health and support groups, people around you will begin to notice your priorities and your clearly-announced boundaries and intentions to create this amazing support group. Honestly, they’ll want in, so be a good example by staying positive through the disappointments. We hate to be cliché, but everything really does happen for a reason. Keep the good support system karma going by being openly thankful to your friends and family by shooting them a quick text, or a handwritten note expressing how much you appreciate them. A little thanks will go a long way.
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